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The Crows in my Head

  • Jun 24 2016
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A WORK IN PROGRESS - my journey through the Creative Process and Personal Discovery
By Jamie S. Perry

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THE CROWS IN MY HEAD

I am starting my day as I usually do: having morning coffee at what is left of my picnic table. "Whoopi" is with me. I am stroking her tail with my left hand while I write these words with my right. We are under a canopy of oak leaves listening to birds. Jays are scolding, doves are cooing, turkeys are laughing hysterically, and warblers are doing their best impressions of Roy Orbison. But the loudest are the crows. There is a small group them that have taken residence in the branches directly above our picnic table.

(Above me, where the crows are:)

They bark commands while I observe them:

"WAKE UP!"

"GET ON WITH IT"

"GO!"

"DO IT!"

"NOW!"

"MOVE!"

"WRITE THE BLOG ALREADY!"

Apparently I am listening...

The last 3 years have impacted my life dramatically. Intellectually I know I must go with the flow, but at times I forget where that flow is and find myself in a state of free falling. In the beginning, I filled my time with chores, concrete tasks that required all my focus. I found my attention span to be shorter than a gnat's. I found myself stuck and fretting over every line and color choice I had to make on a drawing. I found myself worrying about my future to the point of paralysis. I couldn't wait for evening's escapes into TV time with the cats, and blessed sleep. I found myself existing - not living. Intellectually, I knew I had to move forward and to do so fearlessly. I was no longer feeling my inner joy. I needed to find it again. But how do I DO those things..?

(I am now in my office writing this. The crows are outside egging me on with raspy encouragement. One is perched on a branch outside my window looking in at me, "coaching" very loudly: "GO FOR IT!")

Last July I began a journey that is awakening my creative spirit and helping me to rediscover my joy. It involves changing my life and cultivating new techniques for doing things. It involves taking risks. One of these techniques is blogging.

As I get older and cut back my shows, I realize I need and want a place to communicate with you, my friends, collectors, and fellow creative souls. Telephone calls have become precious gifts. Texting is too limiting. Email almost seems outdated, and FaceBook is a tool I use, but not a place to share my soul. A blog page seems like the most logical place to begin this conversation.

As I go through this process, I'd like to share what I'm doing. I invite you to join me by commenting, asking me questions, and participating in some of the exercises I'll be presenting. You may want to get in touch with your own creative self, and I can show you how to do that.

The crows are telling me to "WRAP IT UP!", so I will. Here is the beginning of my first self portrait in many, many years. The working title is

"THE CROWS IN MY HEAD"